Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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