Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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