Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
