Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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