I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How's work?
Spinning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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