all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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