the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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