when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can you bring me the toilet please
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
