So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
