We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
