Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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