what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
