i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
