she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Be still, my beating vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
