Your dad touched me again.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
