Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
