I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
