He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Never joke about your clitoris.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
