dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think i have two assholes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
