I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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