I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
