Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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