First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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