I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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