never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
