Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
