I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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