It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
