awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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