Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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