Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
