Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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