I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
