She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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