if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
