So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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