I want to walk on stilts...naked
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize