Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
