You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize