We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
