Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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