I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
