Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
