He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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