White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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