she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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