so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
