I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
