Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
