did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
