your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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