if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
