I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
