i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
